Love

My Dear one,

No man can ever claim you unless he claims you from me. I reserved a man for you who has my heart. Soon, you will know him. I have the perfect time , you are my princess, my daughter. Let no Prince claim you unless he asks for you from my hand. For I am your Father, the king of Kings. You my Princess are worth loving and deserve a prince.

Love, God

Love my life.

These last few weeks have been fantastic! And for reals, some of the best weeks of my life. Recently, both the stakes in the Star Valley area but their YSA together to form a YSA ward. I was called as the second counselor in the Relief Society and honestly I could'nt be more excited about it! I think it is going to be a very wonderful and rewarding calling. I am excited to get to know new people and expand my talents in a new ward. I am excited for this summer as well! I LOVE summer and I have a gut feeling this is going to be a really good one :) This last weekend was so great! I went to a bonfire and was able to see some friends I hadn't seen for a long time and was able to reminisce and take in the May night sky. There was definetely enough pop and candy to go around! On saturday, I had the oppurtunity to go and judge a queening contest in Evanston where there were only two girls present. It was a great oppurtunity and I really enjoyed learning more. Now, it will be a great oppurtunity for me to grow. I love horses and programs that will help younger girls feel appreciated and beautiful. It was a good day! And an even better day when I got to see my best friend and sister Annie J! I just love her face, and it was really great to meet her lover Tim. We were able to walk around Walmart and talk a little before I had to be headed home. I was so sad that I couldn't stay longer. I miss her so stinking much-she is my sister and best friend and I couldn't be more excited for her and Tim!:) I went to church on Sunday and loved every minute of it! It was wonderful! After church, it was MotHeRs DaY, and we went and took my mom and Grandma Patsey to Dad's Steakhouse. They have the best salad bar in the world. SO good! We went home hung around as a family and then I went to the Shumways to practice my song for a fireside I am singing next Sunday in church. That went well! My life may be a little boring, but right now I am in love with it! I am so content and things are going so well for me right now in every realm of life. . .knock on wood! I can't wait to see what the future has next for me!

I am a Runner

I'm a runner. I'm a runner because I choose to be. I am a runner because I love the way running makes my body feel. I am a runner because I love a challenge. I am a runner because it has gotten me to where I am today. No, it hasn't been easy to push through those miles somedays. It has about put me under, but running and being in charge of who I am has made me stronger. For the first time in my life, I am a better and happier person because of the fullfillment I get out of tying those shoes and hitting the long country roads. One year ago, I was just getting home from Hawaii and I was really just getting into the spirit of running. I had caught the bug but I hadn't quite flew with it yet! I was scared to run hard because of my knee problems. I was scared because I was over weight and I was nervous to run around when people could stare at me. If it was up to me I would sit in my house and hide away from the world. I don't even know who that girl is anymore. I run now for myself. I run for my health, strength and clarity. I run because I feel rejuvinated and more alive. I run because it is who I am. Running has unlocked a part of me I didn't know existed. Now, I want to get up in the morning because I crave the endorphins and the way it makes me feel. I HATE mornings. Not a fan at all, but this part inside me has learned to love them. I am proud of myself now, I am proud to stand and be happy with what I can do. Before I never had the confidence to say this. I am so incredibly happy with who I am now, and for the new found confidence I am finding each and everyday. Thank you running for giving me my life back. Thank you for motivating me to push further in life every single day. I am a runner because a runner was who I was born to be. I may not be the fastest or the leanest, but I do consider myself a runner now. I'll never win a marathon, but I would sure like to try. I'll never run a 4 minute mile but I will do all I can to make it to the next mile. I'm proud of who I am and who I can become. The future has so much in store for me now because of the lifestyle I choose.  Each and everyday I CAN press further, I CAN be stronger. Everyday is a new day, and I can't wait to take it in stride. I'm a runner.
QuOtE FriDaY :)

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."

Legs

Legs. Today I am so very grateful for my legs. I ran 8 miles today in 12 degree weather. My legs carried me there and back, got a little sore, but kept me moving. It's a crazy wonder how amazing they are. I really got thinking about how awesome my wittle wegs are. They have carried me around for 20 years now. They get tired sometimes, but they have never failed me. My head has failed them, but they always keep moving. They have carried me through hard times, they have carried me through proud times. I have resented them sometimes- calling them fat, beating them up to make them look like the world would like. It makes me sick now to look back and see what I was saying to them. They were always there, they never complained, they always kept moving. What if I wasnt blessed with this necessity? What if I was in a wheel chair. It got me thinking to how selfish I have been. I have always over looked them and never thanked them for what they have done for me over my life span. I am SO proud of my legs. Without them, I wouldnt be able to ride my horses, I wouldnt be able to sit and enjoy nature and my many blessings clinging tight to the saddle. I wouldnt have all the amazing memories I have in a dirt arena and throughout my Wyoming mountains without them. I wouldn't be training for my first marathon. I wouldnt have lost 60 pounds. Without my wonderful legs, I wouldnt have believed in myself as much as I do. So today, Thank you legs for believing in me when I had ceased to believe in myself. Thank you for continuing to amaze me each and everyday with what you can do. From today on, I wont let you down. I will be the one carrying you!

20 years young

On Friday the 13th I turned 20. It was a milestone for me. It was something I had been looking forward to for years and something I was dreading in a way. 20 was the year I would no longer be a teeny bopper and my family likes to say, and I would never be graced with a 1 something. It was bitter-sweet to ring in my 20th but if my 20s are anything like my 10 somethings- I will be one blessed girl. I had to work on my birthday, so we didnt celebrate the day of. We went to Dad's steakhouse last night and I had a yummy salad bar with some chicken tortilla soup (which was fantastic!). Then I had a delicious Lava cake, so good. Good thing I ran 5 miles yesterday for my marathon training or I am pretty sure I would have gained 10 pounds. It was a great Birthday- and I look forward for many more to come!

NOEL and New Years Resolutions

Finally,  a new blog post???? Amazing. Sorry, Ya'll I have been majorly slacking on blogging but TADAH I am going to make this one of my New Years Resolutions to blog more. I am so excited for this next year and seeing what it can bring. 2011 has been one of the best years of my life and I am so thankful for the experiences I have gained but I literally cannot wait for the New year! There are so many wonderful things that happened in 2011 that I would like to sketch down before I loose it all from my memory!
- I started off this year living in Hawaii with some of my best friends and a friend that I honestly call my sister from heaven, Annie. I am so thankful for this girl and all she has done for me- knowingly and un-knowingly. I could not ask for a better example and spirit in my life. She is the strongest person I have met and has the strongest testimony! She is the person I would always look to for strength and the one who I would turn to when times were the hardest! She never complained about a single thing, and always knew exactly what to say for every possible situation. She is everything I thought a best friend could be and so much more. Even though the coming of April separated us, we knew that is wasnt the end of the road! I know she will be my best friend for eternity and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us Hawaiian sisters :)
-I am so very thankful for my beautiful family and the incredible amount of support they have given me! I dont think they thought Hawaii was the best idea for me and suprisingly enough it was the hardest/most wonderful experience in my life! I was so thankful to come home and see everyone. I know my life wouldnt be the same without them, and the experiences I have come to know.
- I am thankful for my wonderful cousin Terri and all she has done for me. I have always looked up to her for being my role model but when I lived in Hawaii she seemed to have been more of a hero to me which I didnt think was possible to be even more. She watched out for me and helped me realize my own strength when times were hard and seemed impossible. She taught me love of the gospel and myself and always lead with an example. I am so very grateful for her willingness to serve with hope and understanding of what I was going through. She always kept her head up no matter what trials she faced and I learned so much from her example. I am one truly blessed girl to call her my cousin/sister!
-I lost my best friend and horse on December 8th and my world will never be the same. Kitty taught me more than I thought could be taught. She taught me patience, love and loss. She was always there for me when no one else seemed to be and I know without a doubt she knew my points and knew how far to push me to make me better and stronger in all she did. I will never forget the first time I saw her come barreling out of the trailer- all strangly and beautiful at the same time and from that moment on I knew my life would be changed forever. She carried me on her back from the time I was 9 to 19, and lead me to numerous championships, belt buckles and a Jr. Princess and Princess title. We traveled all over the state vying for the next prize competing for the best; starting at 6 am and not setting foot again on the ground until 9 at night or later. It was keeping bobby pins popped into my head, and way too tight jeans. It was glossing her hair, and staying up the night before a show washing, glossing and getting glimmery shirts ready for the next day. It was cleaning stalls to keep her getting trained and taking lessons each and every day. I will miss her more than words can say, but I know when I hear the thunder roar it will be Kittys feet clippity clocking on heavens floor.
Even though there have been some tough times with 2011- there have been even more good times to make it all worthwhile. I can't wait to see what 2012 has in store for me!
I have so many new things that I want to accomplish in 2012. Here is my list!
1. Be to my goal weight- 15-20 more pounds
2. Go to Alaska
3. Run my first Marathon
4. Run my first Half marathon
5. Be closer to my Father in Heaven
6. Learn to play the guitar better and write songs

Blogging Rut

As of lately, I have been in an awesome blogging rut. I haven't posted in over a month because to tell you the truth, I have been too lazy to. There really hasn't been anything exciting to blog about and so I just haven't. I have been pretty frustrated with my weight as of lately, and I have been fallowing my goals as of the last post to the tee and I have not seen any results. I am feeling good, but I feel like my body hasnt changed. I have to remember things are going to be slow because I am at my last little bit, but it is about putting me UNDER. It is driving me nuts. But this week I am going to start looking at things in a better light and focus a little harder. I am going to give up a few more things and take somethings off the previous list. Normally during the week, I have been running/crossfit on mondays, spinning on tuesdays, kickboxing on weds, spin on thursdays, and run/crossfit on fridays. Saturdays I normally just run or find something worth it to do and rest on Sunday. This week I did just that, and to my dismay, I have gained about 3-4 pounds since I started. I'm just going to have to keep my goal in mind, and push through so I can be what I want which is 10 pounds lighter by Christmas.

Happy Happy MOnDAy!

First of all, I went for an 11 mile run this morning! Oh and it was WONDERFUL! I started a goal last night and this is what I have come up with! I have so far on my journey lost 57 pounds as of a year ago, ad my goal to be smaller than I have ever been is about 10-15. I am working towards that goal and think I can be able to reach it by Christmas. So in order to keep myself on track I am going to write what my plan is and try to write about it and stick to it every day.

• Eat no dairy 
• No sugar/pop
• veggies and protein, only fruit when necessary 
• lots and lots of water 
• and workout everyday

There is my plan, Im going to do it and I am going to feel good about how I am doing. Cant wait to begin to transform! :)

Perfection

"There is something in the way you are. There is some kind of love and hope that radiates to all those who are looking for strength in you. By some sort of miracle you can be a light and hope to those who are lost, those who are searching, and those who think this world will never cease to blunder them. You are an angel to the fallen and a lift to the weak, a hope for the ages and a love for the deep and blistering soul. You can be this to yourself, to your dreams and to the non believers." -Pat Vale

Day to Remember

I have been up in the mountains for the weekend, so I would have posted this sooner but I wasnt here. A miracle came to our small beautiful valley over the weekend. It all started around 11 am yesterday morning, when it was announced at General Conference that our small town was going to be one of the next places to have a TEMPLE built. amazing.  Me  and my mom were just heading out the door to get groceries for the weekend when President Monson came on and started to say..." It is my great privelage to announce some new temples..." We were in a hurry to get to town so my mom rushed me out the door saying, " We have it recorded... if only we would have waited for 2 more minutes! Haha. Well, as we made our way into town, my mom got a text from my Aunt Teressa asking if we had heard the news. As soon as we saw this message our lives have been changed forever! It still isn't real to me that we are getting a temple here in a valley that only has a small population, but I know the people here are strong. This will be the first temple in Wyoming, and I am amazed, blessed and overwhelmed we will be having it here in this little piece of heaven. More to come when I know :) xoxo

I am OLD

I know I am almost 20 (wow) and I am starting to really feel it. Not very long ago it seems I was just barely turning 10 and in 10 years from now I will be the big ol ' 30. WEIRD. As I look back I know I have been very blessed throughout my life, and I am so proud of the person I am, and I can't wait for what the future has next for me. Even though sometimes there are times I would like to turn around and go back to certain times in my life, I know I can't look back anymore that the road now is only one way, and that is forward. I can't wait to see what is in store for me, but my heart knows I wouldnt be so excited about the future if it wasnt for my past. I have grown, cherished and truly LIVED over the past year and it has been the hardest while being the most rewarding year I can remember. I know without a doubt I can be strong, I can be brave because the worst is behind me, and that obstacle that I was sent to tackle is myself. I have never been one that truly believes in who I am. People would tell me I was a wonderful singer, I was a great athlete and I was pretty, but ya know, I never belived them. I didnt look for the good inside of me, I only turned for the bad. I'm not sure what changed inside of me, all I know is that I did. I look at life and myself now with beauty. I look for the positive and not the negative. By doing this, I havent only learned about my self but I have learned about others and what others truly have inside of them. I have said this before and I will say it again, but Hawaii truly changed me. It changed my life and it made me want to believe in myself. I have had the best year, and because I am whom I am now, I can't wait to see what the future holds.
I am going to be doing things a little differently on this blog. I am going to try and post EVERYDAY. And when I say this, it probably won't happen but I am going to try real hard :) Even if its not a lengthy post, it will be something... like a quote, something I learned, something I was inspired by or just a random word. I am aslo going to keep track of my health goals and post my excercise plans for the day as well as what I plan to accomplish. This will be a journal (sortof). I'm not going to bear my whole soul on here but I will make it ME, and somedays I'm not going to hold anything back, but that's who I am. Since my life changed, I have found a new way to look and view life, one of them is viewing myself. I want to keep up with who I am now, and strive to be even better, a happier, healthier ME. I want to experiment with new things, live my bucket-list and continue to try and be an example to others. So here I go, I am starting my new blog... I need to figure out how to change the background and stuff to make it cute, but I have failed so the new blog might be a little down the road ;) Here are somethings I plan to accomplish before New Years.
**** Go to the NFR. I want to plan a trip for me and my mom to go. We have wanted to go for years and I want to be able to have a trip to look back on with my mom other than horse showing :)
**** Loose 70 pounds- as of right now I have lost 58 and these last 12 might kill me but a girl can dream right? I can do this, I can do this.
**** Go snowboarding. I have never once touched a snowboard cause the things make me shudder just looking at them because I can just invision myself flying down a mountain, plastered with now, goggles crooked on my face heading into a crowd of innocent bystanders. I.dont.want.to.do.that. But ya know, this might be a good thing for me to try something new and get out of my comfort zone. I remember the first time I tried Skiing. I about killed me a shed, but by the end of the day I was skiing like a PRO. Hopefully this is the case with snowboarding.
**** Learn how to dance. Ok, so I can shake it with Zumba, but other than that I am one left footed duck. I think dancers are so neat... The way they can move and twirl around the floor as well as bend in crazy ways. I want to be able to do that. Wow. That would be neat of me.
**** Run a half marathon. I ran the El Vaquero Loco this summer, but I never had the chance to run the half marathon that was here this July. I had a family reunion, and I was lame and chose note to be there for the run. I wish I would have now, becuase I heard it was an awesome experience. There are a few halfs before December so I hope to do one of them. I also hope to have a training schedule. All the other races I have ran, I have not really trained, just kinda done my own thing. I never time myself, I push my body as far as I think it needs to be pushed and a little further, and I just run. I enjoy the time I get when I am alone, running with nothing but the air and sun. I used to run with music and think that people who didnt were Crazy. I was always scared of the fact that I would hear my obnoxious breathing and want to quit. I have LOVED running without music though, I am a firm believer that I can focus better on my breathing, focus on my body, and listen to the world around me.
Well ya'll, that's it for today. Oh, almost forgot! I am so stinkin proud of my little brother Andy! He is playing Varsity football! He is only a sophomore this year, and along with 2 other sophomores they are the only ones that are playing. I am so proud! Homecoming is this friday so I will be able to watch him play for the first time on home field. So stinking proud I am. Anyways, here is a little motto I saw the other day and LOVED!

"She believed she could, and so she did."

I think it is so simple but it truly means a lot. You can believe all you want but until you do something about it, you might as well not believe at all. Be back tomorrow!!

C.H.a.N.G.e.S

  I realize it has been a couple months since the last update so time for a good HUGE post. I have had a great summer so far and I am looking forward to the Fall. I love Fall, it's my favorite time of year with the leaves, sunsets, and cool temperatures that just perfectly fit together. I am so grateful we have changing in seasons we can see everyday, we can take in God's beauty and be thankful for another changing season. 

Lots has happened this summer, and it has been one of the best summers I can remember. Starting in June, my little sister Kynzi tried out for Jr, Princess and WON! She used Royal my new 5 year old gelding, and I was so stinkin' proud of her! Fallowing right in her big sister's footsteps ;) She is the cutest, look at her matching blue outfit! She thinks she is pretty great!
I have been able to spend lots of time with my friends that I haven't seen since we graduated. It was so great to spend time and get back to how simple it used to be in high school! I have missed them so much, it was good to catch up and see how much has changed since we went our separate ways. 

Speaking of change, I want to talk a little about how much my life and myself has changed over the last year. I am really starting to find who I really am and make choicesas to who I someday want to become. I can't imagine who I used to be, and I am proud to be able to love myself for the first REAL time. I have lost over 50 pounds, and I am beginning to finally LOVE my body. I want to be able to last as long as possible, and I wasn't happy with who I was before. I wasn't happy because I was relying on other people and other superficial things to make me happy, and once I realized those things didn't matter that's when I began to mold a new and happier life. I honestly couldn't have done it if I hadn't been able to go to Hawaii.  I know without a doubt in my mind that Hawaii saved me. I could turn to no one but myself and rely on my inner strength to change and evolve. I was so blessed to have Terri, my cousin/sister there to help me through everything. And Annie my truest best friend to be a light at the end of the tunnel when I needed it. It wasn't easy sometimes but I know my father in Heaven was holding to my hand tightly more often then not. I am a happy, confident person looking for a future I know now I can conquer. I began my real journey in February 2011 and I have not looked back since. I began running little bits at a time, not everyday, but I soon became hooked. I LOVE running. I used to hate it, but now it's a craving I can't get past. I ran my first race ever which was the Swift creek 5K and won my age group!! I was so happy and proud. On August 13th, I ran the El Vaquero Loco which translates to "Crazy Cowboy" and let me tell ya, it was just that. There were times along the trail that I wanted to break down. Let me say, this wasn't easy in any way shape or form, but it is one of my greatest achievements. I got a little teary eyed a few times when I would look up and there would be nothing but uphill wilderness that I believed I couldn't conquer. This race began at the bottom of Swift creek and went to Corral Creek Lakes and turned around and came back. The first 8 miles were complete uphill. There was maybe 2 flat spots the whole way, and when I say up hill I mean UPHILL. It was pretty ridiculous a few times, but I kept pushing. My dad has done an aid station for the race for 5 years now and he was the first one I came to and man I have never been so dang happy to see him, my mom, Andy and Kynzi. They made it a family trip and hauled everything up on the horses the day before. When I came to them, I wasn't doing to hot. At this time I was 5 1/2 miles in and still had the roughest part ahead of me, but with some reassurance and energy gels I was on my way. I chugged a long and made it to the turn around and the last aid station, and man was I so ready to be done. Heading back I took as many pictures and kept on keeping on running all the way down! When I reached the finish line my Grandpa and Grandma Erickson were waiting with Chocolate milk and Lemme say, it was the best dang thing I have ever had.:) It was a wonderful experience and I am so proud of myself for finishing. My goals before the race were:  Finish, don't be last, and don't crawl across the finish line and that I did. 

It's been awhile..

Life has been a little crazy since I have bee home but honestly, I am loving every minute of it. I am working at the hospital in the clinic and I LOVE it. I have met so many great people, and it is pushing me a little further into becoming a nurse! At the same time, there are a lot of uknowns that I am trying to figure out with my life. I'm excited to keep opening new chapters. I can't wait to see whats around the corner. Well, since I missed T.N.T I will just do it tonight :)

"Keep your heart open. Keep it true and steady to new and past ideas. The love of hope and faith never ends. Love never ends; it is a continuous light leading through the darkness of thoughts and feeling. You will never loose sight of love as long as you keep your heart focusing on what's real, and never closing doors that should have stayed open. In the end, your heart will be true to you, no matter what the concequence..."-Author Uknown

Lately.

This past year has been one of the greatest of my life. At the same time, its been one of the hardest and most trying times as well. I don't know where my life is going, I have an idea but all at the same time, it seems like there are so many things that I don't have control over and that scares me. I want to be the best person I can be, for myself and for my future and whatever that may hold. There are so many paths that are going in all different directions, there are paths that lead back to the past, and the past is somewhere I would love to go but at the same time I want to close all the doors and lock all the windows. People say we learn from our past, but do we really? It seems like it is always there, its always there to remind us where we have been and what we can accomplish from everything we have done. The windows serve as a way to see the future as well and shine light on what we can become. I miss the past, but at the same time, its still here in everything I do, every word I say and every friendship I come in contact with. I know my life Is shaped from what I have been through and what I will soon learn. I can't wait for the next chapter in my life, I can't wait to continue my journey on the many pathways. I can't wait to see what is in store for me now <3

T.N.T-HEY YOU...

There are a few things to catch up on. I am HOME! It's a weird feeling though to be back in the valley and trying to maintain as much normalcy as possible. I miss Hawaii and my friends but I am excited to start the new part of my life. I will be in the valley until January, and then go to BYU-Idaho until July and will continue pursuing my dream to be a nurse. I have really been struggling with peoples perceptions and I found this quote from quote.com and it was EXACTLY what I needed. Maybe it will make you feel better too if you have been struggling. We are all perfect, we are all beautiful daughters of God no matter what we feel like or look like. I am thankful I have been blessed with this knowledge.

HEY YOU-"yes, you. stop being unhappy with yourself, you are perfect. stop wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks ... love them. without those things you wouldn't be you. and why would you want to be anyone else? be confident with who you are. smile. it'll draw people in. if anyone hates on you because you are happy with yourself then turn your back and say screw it. my happiness will not depend on others anymore. i'm happy because i love who i am. i love my flaws. i love my imperfections. they make me me. and 'me' is pretty amazing."

Day/Weekly Goal:

Take life one day at a time, one hour my the minute, and every second for your dreams.

Bucketlist:

Marry in the temple to my best friend and raise a beautiful family.

T.N.T

"No one can go back and make a new beginning. . . but you can start today and make your new ending."

I thought this was very fitting for today and this week as well as the journey I have made in the past 7 months. I go home in about 2 days now. I am excited/anxious/nervous/every other emotion in the book. But, I can look forward to beginning again and the many new excitements of being a new person in a "new" place. I can't wait for my new journey to begin, but it will be bittersweet to close this chapter of my life.

Daily/Weekly Goal:
Live in the moment, you only have it for a second.

Bucketlist:
Write a novel and a cookbook :) have to be a good cook first, better start working on that!

 

General Conference Weekend

I have really been reflecting on the last 7 months of my life lately, and I have come to one conclusion:  there is no way that I would have been able to survive without the hand of the Lord. Since being away from home and being at BYUH I have learned to be more aware of myself, and let go of insecurities. I have struggled at times, but I know when I have given a silent or verbal prayer it always gets answered some way or another. One of those answers came this weekend with General Conference. It was such an amazing conference and I felt the spirit so strong. I finally came to the realization with my whole understanding that the church is true, and God is there to answer our prayers even through others. I have been blessed with great friends and a best friend who I truly believe I met in the pre-existance, Annie. I am grateful she was given to me when my prayers needed answers and when I had ceased to believe in myself.  I am filled with mixed emotions about going home and with finals but I know with my whole being the Lord will pick me up and carry me to the finish line if I meet him half way. I'm grateful as well I have been able to have a temple within 10 minutes walking and so glad that one day I can go through and recieve covenants and new understandings about the church. I am so grateful and my heart is very full today, I know my father loves me. I know he understands my every thought and action, he knows every hair on my head and without him I would be nothing. So, today was a wonderful Sunday, and next week at this time I will be home with my family. I don't think life could get any better <3

T.N.T

Yes, I realize it is wednesday and not tuesday, but I'm going to pretend it is tuesday because I am so stressed I am walking and talking in my sleep and scaring my roommate. 9 more days, 9 more days until I am done with the semester, and I thought my senior year was bad. Anyways, quote time!

"Love anything and your heart will be rung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intach you must give it to no one, not even for a moment. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the coffin or casket of your selfishness. But, in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

-C.S. Lewis

Bucketlist: 

Go Skydiving, actually go. Don't ride in the car get there, chicken out and leave. Get in the little, rickety plane and jump out into free falling air. 

Last Church Attending Sunday. . .

Today is my last Sunday being in church on the island. It makes my head spin really fast because I know that in 12 short days I will be going home, packing all my belongings into one suitcase and leaving, just like I came. It's a scary thought, because to me it feels like I am starting all over once again. I didn't know that when I boarded the plane to come here in September, I would be so scared to leave and come HOME. It's crazy really. I feel when I go home I am going to have to make a place for myself again, because here is Laie is what I called home, it was the only place I had to feel safe, there was nothing else. Now I am going back to the valley of stars and I can't help but feel hopeless, scared, and anxious. I don't know what is to come in my life for awhile. I'm scared because I know everything has changed so much since I have been there, and here I am jumping head-first into my life again. It's going to be weird, and crazy and beautiful all at the same time. I know the Lord will protect me and bless me when I put my faith in his hands and reach for his light. I would'nt be the person I am today without him holding me and making me a stronger person 3,000 miles away from my family and friends. But you know what? I wouldn't change this crazy journey for anything, and now no matter how scared I am I'm ready to face a new journey and new pathways, and all I have to do is take the first step...

Tuesday Night-Quote and dreams night

I have decided I am going to make Tuesday nights a little different. Even if I am not able to blog as much , I will try and do something every tuesday along with a quote I ran onto and a bucketlist goal as well as a goal for the day/week. I want to inspire people, and I wish these quotes will help you in your life as they do mine. I am really excited about this and hope I can do everything I have on my list. So for the first time. . . Tuesday Night Thoughts (T.N.T) haha. I think it's catchy and I like it :)

"Those who can be truly accounted brave are those who best know the meaning of what is sweet in life and what is terrible, and then go out, unmoved, facing what is to come." - Pericles

Daily/Weekly Goal: 
Find something inspiring, and count your many many blessings for the simple, beautiful, complicated, sweet things in your life.
Bucket-List:
Go to a foreign country, and with my nursing degree, help sick children and their families.