I am OLD

I know I am almost 20 (wow) and I am starting to really feel it. Not very long ago it seems I was just barely turning 10 and in 10 years from now I will be the big ol ' 30. WEIRD. As I look back I know I have been very blessed throughout my life, and I am so proud of the person I am, and I can't wait for what the future has next for me. Even though sometimes there are times I would like to turn around and go back to certain times in my life, I know I can't look back anymore that the road now is only one way, and that is forward. I can't wait to see what is in store for me, but my heart knows I wouldnt be so excited about the future if it wasnt for my past. I have grown, cherished and truly LIVED over the past year and it has been the hardest while being the most rewarding year I can remember. I know without a doubt I can be strong, I can be brave because the worst is behind me, and that obstacle that I was sent to tackle is myself. I have never been one that truly believes in who I am. People would tell me I was a wonderful singer, I was a great athlete and I was pretty, but ya know, I never belived them. I didnt look for the good inside of me, I only turned for the bad. I'm not sure what changed inside of me, all I know is that I did. I look at life and myself now with beauty. I look for the positive and not the negative. By doing this, I havent only learned about my self but I have learned about others and what others truly have inside of them. I have said this before and I will say it again, but Hawaii truly changed me. It changed my life and it made me want to believe in myself. I have had the best year, and because I am whom I am now, I can't wait to see what the future holds.
I am going to be doing things a little differently on this blog. I am going to try and post EVERYDAY. And when I say this, it probably won't happen but I am going to try real hard :) Even if its not a lengthy post, it will be something... like a quote, something I learned, something I was inspired by or just a random word. I am aslo going to keep track of my health goals and post my excercise plans for the day as well as what I plan to accomplish. This will be a journal (sortof). I'm not going to bear my whole soul on here but I will make it ME, and somedays I'm not going to hold anything back, but that's who I am. Since my life changed, I have found a new way to look and view life, one of them is viewing myself. I want to keep up with who I am now, and strive to be even better, a happier, healthier ME. I want to experiment with new things, live my bucket-list and continue to try and be an example to others. So here I go, I am starting my new blog... I need to figure out how to change the background and stuff to make it cute, but I have failed so the new blog might be a little down the road ;) Here are somethings I plan to accomplish before New Years.
**** Go to the NFR. I want to plan a trip for me and my mom to go. We have wanted to go for years and I want to be able to have a trip to look back on with my mom other than horse showing :)
**** Loose 70 pounds- as of right now I have lost 58 and these last 12 might kill me but a girl can dream right? I can do this, I can do this.
**** Go snowboarding. I have never once touched a snowboard cause the things make me shudder just looking at them because I can just invision myself flying down a mountain, plastered with now, goggles crooked on my face heading into a crowd of innocent bystanders. I.dont.want.to.do.that. But ya know, this might be a good thing for me to try something new and get out of my comfort zone. I remember the first time I tried Skiing. I about killed me a shed, but by the end of the day I was skiing like a PRO. Hopefully this is the case with snowboarding.
**** Learn how to dance. Ok, so I can shake it with Zumba, but other than that I am one left footed duck. I think dancers are so neat... The way they can move and twirl around the floor as well as bend in crazy ways. I want to be able to do that. Wow. That would be neat of me.
**** Run a half marathon. I ran the El Vaquero Loco this summer, but I never had the chance to run the half marathon that was here this July. I had a family reunion, and I was lame and chose note to be there for the run. I wish I would have now, becuase I heard it was an awesome experience. There are a few halfs before December so I hope to do one of them. I also hope to have a training schedule. All the other races I have ran, I have not really trained, just kinda done my own thing. I never time myself, I push my body as far as I think it needs to be pushed and a little further, and I just run. I enjoy the time I get when I am alone, running with nothing but the air and sun. I used to run with music and think that people who didnt were Crazy. I was always scared of the fact that I would hear my obnoxious breathing and want to quit. I have LOVED running without music though, I am a firm believer that I can focus better on my breathing, focus on my body, and listen to the world around me.
Well ya'll, that's it for today. Oh, almost forgot! I am so stinkin proud of my little brother Andy! He is playing Varsity football! He is only a sophomore this year, and along with 2 other sophomores they are the only ones that are playing. I am so proud! Homecoming is this friday so I will be able to watch him play for the first time on home field. So stinking proud I am. Anyways, here is a little motto I saw the other day and LOVED!

"She believed she could, and so she did."

I think it is so simple but it truly means a lot. You can believe all you want but until you do something about it, you might as well not believe at all. Be back tomorrow!!