NOEL and New Years Resolutions

Finally,  a new blog post???? Amazing. Sorry, Ya'll I have been majorly slacking on blogging but TADAH I am going to make this one of my New Years Resolutions to blog more. I am so excited for this next year and seeing what it can bring. 2011 has been one of the best years of my life and I am so thankful for the experiences I have gained but I literally cannot wait for the New year! There are so many wonderful things that happened in 2011 that I would like to sketch down before I loose it all from my memory!
- I started off this year living in Hawaii with some of my best friends and a friend that I honestly call my sister from heaven, Annie. I am so thankful for this girl and all she has done for me- knowingly and un-knowingly. I could not ask for a better example and spirit in my life. She is the strongest person I have met and has the strongest testimony! She is the person I would always look to for strength and the one who I would turn to when times were the hardest! She never complained about a single thing, and always knew exactly what to say for every possible situation. She is everything I thought a best friend could be and so much more. Even though the coming of April separated us, we knew that is wasnt the end of the road! I know she will be my best friend for eternity and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us Hawaiian sisters :)
-I am so very thankful for my beautiful family and the incredible amount of support they have given me! I dont think they thought Hawaii was the best idea for me and suprisingly enough it was the hardest/most wonderful experience in my life! I was so thankful to come home and see everyone. I know my life wouldnt be the same without them, and the experiences I have come to know.
- I am thankful for my wonderful cousin Terri and all she has done for me. I have always looked up to her for being my role model but when I lived in Hawaii she seemed to have been more of a hero to me which I didnt think was possible to be even more. She watched out for me and helped me realize my own strength when times were hard and seemed impossible. She taught me love of the gospel and myself and always lead with an example. I am so very grateful for her willingness to serve with hope and understanding of what I was going through. She always kept her head up no matter what trials she faced and I learned so much from her example. I am one truly blessed girl to call her my cousin/sister!
-I lost my best friend and horse on December 8th and my world will never be the same. Kitty taught me more than I thought could be taught. She taught me patience, love and loss. She was always there for me when no one else seemed to be and I know without a doubt she knew my points and knew how far to push me to make me better and stronger in all she did. I will never forget the first time I saw her come barreling out of the trailer- all strangly and beautiful at the same time and from that moment on I knew my life would be changed forever. She carried me on her back from the time I was 9 to 19, and lead me to numerous championships, belt buckles and a Jr. Princess and Princess title. We traveled all over the state vying for the next prize competing for the best; starting at 6 am and not setting foot again on the ground until 9 at night or later. It was keeping bobby pins popped into my head, and way too tight jeans. It was glossing her hair, and staying up the night before a show washing, glossing and getting glimmery shirts ready for the next day. It was cleaning stalls to keep her getting trained and taking lessons each and every day. I will miss her more than words can say, but I know when I hear the thunder roar it will be Kittys feet clippity clocking on heavens floor.
Even though there have been some tough times with 2011- there have been even more good times to make it all worthwhile. I can't wait to see what 2012 has in store for me!
I have so many new things that I want to accomplish in 2012. Here is my list!
1. Be to my goal weight- 15-20 more pounds
2. Go to Alaska
3. Run my first Marathon
4. Run my first Half marathon
5. Be closer to my Father in Heaven
6. Learn to play the guitar better and write songs

Blogging Rut

As of lately, I have been in an awesome blogging rut. I haven't posted in over a month because to tell you the truth, I have been too lazy to. There really hasn't been anything exciting to blog about and so I just haven't. I have been pretty frustrated with my weight as of lately, and I have been fallowing my goals as of the last post to the tee and I have not seen any results. I am feeling good, but I feel like my body hasnt changed. I have to remember things are going to be slow because I am at my last little bit, but it is about putting me UNDER. It is driving me nuts. But this week I am going to start looking at things in a better light and focus a little harder. I am going to give up a few more things and take somethings off the previous list. Normally during the week, I have been running/crossfit on mondays, spinning on tuesdays, kickboxing on weds, spin on thursdays, and run/crossfit on fridays. Saturdays I normally just run or find something worth it to do and rest on Sunday. This week I did just that, and to my dismay, I have gained about 3-4 pounds since I started. I'm just going to have to keep my goal in mind, and push through so I can be what I want which is 10 pounds lighter by Christmas.

Happy Happy MOnDAy!

First of all, I went for an 11 mile run this morning! Oh and it was WONDERFUL! I started a goal last night and this is what I have come up with! I have so far on my journey lost 57 pounds as of a year ago, ad my goal to be smaller than I have ever been is about 10-15. I am working towards that goal and think I can be able to reach it by Christmas. So in order to keep myself on track I am going to write what my plan is and try to write about it and stick to it every day.

• Eat no dairy 
• No sugar/pop
• veggies and protein, only fruit when necessary 
• lots and lots of water 
• and workout everyday

There is my plan, Im going to do it and I am going to feel good about how I am doing. Cant wait to begin to transform! :)

Perfection

"There is something in the way you are. There is some kind of love and hope that radiates to all those who are looking for strength in you. By some sort of miracle you can be a light and hope to those who are lost, those who are searching, and those who think this world will never cease to blunder them. You are an angel to the fallen and a lift to the weak, a hope for the ages and a love for the deep and blistering soul. You can be this to yourself, to your dreams and to the non believers." -Pat Vale

Day to Remember

I have been up in the mountains for the weekend, so I would have posted this sooner but I wasnt here. A miracle came to our small beautiful valley over the weekend. It all started around 11 am yesterday morning, when it was announced at General Conference that our small town was going to be one of the next places to have a TEMPLE built. amazing.  Me  and my mom were just heading out the door to get groceries for the weekend when President Monson came on and started to say..." It is my great privelage to announce some new temples..." We were in a hurry to get to town so my mom rushed me out the door saying, " We have it recorded... if only we would have waited for 2 more minutes! Haha. Well, as we made our way into town, my mom got a text from my Aunt Teressa asking if we had heard the news. As soon as we saw this message our lives have been changed forever! It still isn't real to me that we are getting a temple here in a valley that only has a small population, but I know the people here are strong. This will be the first temple in Wyoming, and I am amazed, blessed and overwhelmed we will be having it here in this little piece of heaven. More to come when I know :) xoxo

I am OLD

I know I am almost 20 (wow) and I am starting to really feel it. Not very long ago it seems I was just barely turning 10 and in 10 years from now I will be the big ol ' 30. WEIRD. As I look back I know I have been very blessed throughout my life, and I am so proud of the person I am, and I can't wait for what the future has next for me. Even though sometimes there are times I would like to turn around and go back to certain times in my life, I know I can't look back anymore that the road now is only one way, and that is forward. I can't wait to see what is in store for me, but my heart knows I wouldnt be so excited about the future if it wasnt for my past. I have grown, cherished and truly LIVED over the past year and it has been the hardest while being the most rewarding year I can remember. I know without a doubt I can be strong, I can be brave because the worst is behind me, and that obstacle that I was sent to tackle is myself. I have never been one that truly believes in who I am. People would tell me I was a wonderful singer, I was a great athlete and I was pretty, but ya know, I never belived them. I didnt look for the good inside of me, I only turned for the bad. I'm not sure what changed inside of me, all I know is that I did. I look at life and myself now with beauty. I look for the positive and not the negative. By doing this, I havent only learned about my self but I have learned about others and what others truly have inside of them. I have said this before and I will say it again, but Hawaii truly changed me. It changed my life and it made me want to believe in myself. I have had the best year, and because I am whom I am now, I can't wait to see what the future holds.
I am going to be doing things a little differently on this blog. I am going to try and post EVERYDAY. And when I say this, it probably won't happen but I am going to try real hard :) Even if its not a lengthy post, it will be something... like a quote, something I learned, something I was inspired by or just a random word. I am aslo going to keep track of my health goals and post my excercise plans for the day as well as what I plan to accomplish. This will be a journal (sortof). I'm not going to bear my whole soul on here but I will make it ME, and somedays I'm not going to hold anything back, but that's who I am. Since my life changed, I have found a new way to look and view life, one of them is viewing myself. I want to keep up with who I am now, and strive to be even better, a happier, healthier ME. I want to experiment with new things, live my bucket-list and continue to try and be an example to others. So here I go, I am starting my new blog... I need to figure out how to change the background and stuff to make it cute, but I have failed so the new blog might be a little down the road ;) Here are somethings I plan to accomplish before New Years.
**** Go to the NFR. I want to plan a trip for me and my mom to go. We have wanted to go for years and I want to be able to have a trip to look back on with my mom other than horse showing :)
**** Loose 70 pounds- as of right now I have lost 58 and these last 12 might kill me but a girl can dream right? I can do this, I can do this.
**** Go snowboarding. I have never once touched a snowboard cause the things make me shudder just looking at them because I can just invision myself flying down a mountain, plastered with now, goggles crooked on my face heading into a crowd of innocent bystanders. I.dont.want.to.do.that. But ya know, this might be a good thing for me to try something new and get out of my comfort zone. I remember the first time I tried Skiing. I about killed me a shed, but by the end of the day I was skiing like a PRO. Hopefully this is the case with snowboarding.
**** Learn how to dance. Ok, so I can shake it with Zumba, but other than that I am one left footed duck. I think dancers are so neat... The way they can move and twirl around the floor as well as bend in crazy ways. I want to be able to do that. Wow. That would be neat of me.
**** Run a half marathon. I ran the El Vaquero Loco this summer, but I never had the chance to run the half marathon that was here this July. I had a family reunion, and I was lame and chose note to be there for the run. I wish I would have now, becuase I heard it was an awesome experience. There are a few halfs before December so I hope to do one of them. I also hope to have a training schedule. All the other races I have ran, I have not really trained, just kinda done my own thing. I never time myself, I push my body as far as I think it needs to be pushed and a little further, and I just run. I enjoy the time I get when I am alone, running with nothing but the air and sun. I used to run with music and think that people who didnt were Crazy. I was always scared of the fact that I would hear my obnoxious breathing and want to quit. I have LOVED running without music though, I am a firm believer that I can focus better on my breathing, focus on my body, and listen to the world around me.
Well ya'll, that's it for today. Oh, almost forgot! I am so stinkin proud of my little brother Andy! He is playing Varsity football! He is only a sophomore this year, and along with 2 other sophomores they are the only ones that are playing. I am so proud! Homecoming is this friday so I will be able to watch him play for the first time on home field. So stinking proud I am. Anyways, here is a little motto I saw the other day and LOVED!

"She believed she could, and so she did."

I think it is so simple but it truly means a lot. You can believe all you want but until you do something about it, you might as well not believe at all. Be back tomorrow!!

C.H.a.N.G.e.S

  I realize it has been a couple months since the last update so time for a good HUGE post. I have had a great summer so far and I am looking forward to the Fall. I love Fall, it's my favorite time of year with the leaves, sunsets, and cool temperatures that just perfectly fit together. I am so grateful we have changing in seasons we can see everyday, we can take in God's beauty and be thankful for another changing season. 

Lots has happened this summer, and it has been one of the best summers I can remember. Starting in June, my little sister Kynzi tried out for Jr, Princess and WON! She used Royal my new 5 year old gelding, and I was so stinkin' proud of her! Fallowing right in her big sister's footsteps ;) She is the cutest, look at her matching blue outfit! She thinks she is pretty great!
I have been able to spend lots of time with my friends that I haven't seen since we graduated. It was so great to spend time and get back to how simple it used to be in high school! I have missed them so much, it was good to catch up and see how much has changed since we went our separate ways. 

Speaking of change, I want to talk a little about how much my life and myself has changed over the last year. I am really starting to find who I really am and make choicesas to who I someday want to become. I can't imagine who I used to be, and I am proud to be able to love myself for the first REAL time. I have lost over 50 pounds, and I am beginning to finally LOVE my body. I want to be able to last as long as possible, and I wasn't happy with who I was before. I wasn't happy because I was relying on other people and other superficial things to make me happy, and once I realized those things didn't matter that's when I began to mold a new and happier life. I honestly couldn't have done it if I hadn't been able to go to Hawaii.  I know without a doubt in my mind that Hawaii saved me. I could turn to no one but myself and rely on my inner strength to change and evolve. I was so blessed to have Terri, my cousin/sister there to help me through everything. And Annie my truest best friend to be a light at the end of the tunnel when I needed it. It wasn't easy sometimes but I know my father in Heaven was holding to my hand tightly more often then not. I am a happy, confident person looking for a future I know now I can conquer. I began my real journey in February 2011 and I have not looked back since. I began running little bits at a time, not everyday, but I soon became hooked. I LOVE running. I used to hate it, but now it's a craving I can't get past. I ran my first race ever which was the Swift creek 5K and won my age group!! I was so happy and proud. On August 13th, I ran the El Vaquero Loco which translates to "Crazy Cowboy" and let me tell ya, it was just that. There were times along the trail that I wanted to break down. Let me say, this wasn't easy in any way shape or form, but it is one of my greatest achievements. I got a little teary eyed a few times when I would look up and there would be nothing but uphill wilderness that I believed I couldn't conquer. This race began at the bottom of Swift creek and went to Corral Creek Lakes and turned around and came back. The first 8 miles were complete uphill. There was maybe 2 flat spots the whole way, and when I say up hill I mean UPHILL. It was pretty ridiculous a few times, but I kept pushing. My dad has done an aid station for the race for 5 years now and he was the first one I came to and man I have never been so dang happy to see him, my mom, Andy and Kynzi. They made it a family trip and hauled everything up on the horses the day before. When I came to them, I wasn't doing to hot. At this time I was 5 1/2 miles in and still had the roughest part ahead of me, but with some reassurance and energy gels I was on my way. I chugged a long and made it to the turn around and the last aid station, and man was I so ready to be done. Heading back I took as many pictures and kept on keeping on running all the way down! When I reached the finish line my Grandpa and Grandma Erickson were waiting with Chocolate milk and Lemme say, it was the best dang thing I have ever had.:) It was a wonderful experience and I am so proud of myself for finishing. My goals before the race were:  Finish, don't be last, and don't crawl across the finish line and that I did. 

It's been awhile..

Life has been a little crazy since I have bee home but honestly, I am loving every minute of it. I am working at the hospital in the clinic and I LOVE it. I have met so many great people, and it is pushing me a little further into becoming a nurse! At the same time, there are a lot of uknowns that I am trying to figure out with my life. I'm excited to keep opening new chapters. I can't wait to see whats around the corner. Well, since I missed T.N.T I will just do it tonight :)

"Keep your heart open. Keep it true and steady to new and past ideas. The love of hope and faith never ends. Love never ends; it is a continuous light leading through the darkness of thoughts and feeling. You will never loose sight of love as long as you keep your heart focusing on what's real, and never closing doors that should have stayed open. In the end, your heart will be true to you, no matter what the concequence..."-Author Uknown

Lately.

This past year has been one of the greatest of my life. At the same time, its been one of the hardest and most trying times as well. I don't know where my life is going, I have an idea but all at the same time, it seems like there are so many things that I don't have control over and that scares me. I want to be the best person I can be, for myself and for my future and whatever that may hold. There are so many paths that are going in all different directions, there are paths that lead back to the past, and the past is somewhere I would love to go but at the same time I want to close all the doors and lock all the windows. People say we learn from our past, but do we really? It seems like it is always there, its always there to remind us where we have been and what we can accomplish from everything we have done. The windows serve as a way to see the future as well and shine light on what we can become. I miss the past, but at the same time, its still here in everything I do, every word I say and every friendship I come in contact with. I know my life Is shaped from what I have been through and what I will soon learn. I can't wait for the next chapter in my life, I can't wait to continue my journey on the many pathways. I can't wait to see what is in store for me now <3

T.N.T-HEY YOU...

There are a few things to catch up on. I am HOME! It's a weird feeling though to be back in the valley and trying to maintain as much normalcy as possible. I miss Hawaii and my friends but I am excited to start the new part of my life. I will be in the valley until January, and then go to BYU-Idaho until July and will continue pursuing my dream to be a nurse. I have really been struggling with peoples perceptions and I found this quote from quote.com and it was EXACTLY what I needed. Maybe it will make you feel better too if you have been struggling. We are all perfect, we are all beautiful daughters of God no matter what we feel like or look like. I am thankful I have been blessed with this knowledge.

HEY YOU-"yes, you. stop being unhappy with yourself, you are perfect. stop wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks ... love them. without those things you wouldn't be you. and why would you want to be anyone else? be confident with who you are. smile. it'll draw people in. if anyone hates on you because you are happy with yourself then turn your back and say screw it. my happiness will not depend on others anymore. i'm happy because i love who i am. i love my flaws. i love my imperfections. they make me me. and 'me' is pretty amazing."

Day/Weekly Goal:

Take life one day at a time, one hour my the minute, and every second for your dreams.

Bucketlist:

Marry in the temple to my best friend and raise a beautiful family.

T.N.T

"No one can go back and make a new beginning. . . but you can start today and make your new ending."

I thought this was very fitting for today and this week as well as the journey I have made in the past 7 months. I go home in about 2 days now. I am excited/anxious/nervous/every other emotion in the book. But, I can look forward to beginning again and the many new excitements of being a new person in a "new" place. I can't wait for my new journey to begin, but it will be bittersweet to close this chapter of my life.

Daily/Weekly Goal:
Live in the moment, you only have it for a second.

Bucketlist:
Write a novel and a cookbook :) have to be a good cook first, better start working on that!

 

General Conference Weekend

I have really been reflecting on the last 7 months of my life lately, and I have come to one conclusion:  there is no way that I would have been able to survive without the hand of the Lord. Since being away from home and being at BYUH I have learned to be more aware of myself, and let go of insecurities. I have struggled at times, but I know when I have given a silent or verbal prayer it always gets answered some way or another. One of those answers came this weekend with General Conference. It was such an amazing conference and I felt the spirit so strong. I finally came to the realization with my whole understanding that the church is true, and God is there to answer our prayers even through others. I have been blessed with great friends and a best friend who I truly believe I met in the pre-existance, Annie. I am grateful she was given to me when my prayers needed answers and when I had ceased to believe in myself.  I am filled with mixed emotions about going home and with finals but I know with my whole being the Lord will pick me up and carry me to the finish line if I meet him half way. I'm grateful as well I have been able to have a temple within 10 minutes walking and so glad that one day I can go through and recieve covenants and new understandings about the church. I am so grateful and my heart is very full today, I know my father loves me. I know he understands my every thought and action, he knows every hair on my head and without him I would be nothing. So, today was a wonderful Sunday, and next week at this time I will be home with my family. I don't think life could get any better <3

T.N.T

Yes, I realize it is wednesday and not tuesday, but I'm going to pretend it is tuesday because I am so stressed I am walking and talking in my sleep and scaring my roommate. 9 more days, 9 more days until I am done with the semester, and I thought my senior year was bad. Anyways, quote time!

"Love anything and your heart will be rung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intach you must give it to no one, not even for a moment. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the coffin or casket of your selfishness. But, in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

-C.S. Lewis

Bucketlist: 

Go Skydiving, actually go. Don't ride in the car get there, chicken out and leave. Get in the little, rickety plane and jump out into free falling air. 

Last Church Attending Sunday. . .

Today is my last Sunday being in church on the island. It makes my head spin really fast because I know that in 12 short days I will be going home, packing all my belongings into one suitcase and leaving, just like I came. It's a scary thought, because to me it feels like I am starting all over once again. I didn't know that when I boarded the plane to come here in September, I would be so scared to leave and come HOME. It's crazy really. I feel when I go home I am going to have to make a place for myself again, because here is Laie is what I called home, it was the only place I had to feel safe, there was nothing else. Now I am going back to the valley of stars and I can't help but feel hopeless, scared, and anxious. I don't know what is to come in my life for awhile. I'm scared because I know everything has changed so much since I have been there, and here I am jumping head-first into my life again. It's going to be weird, and crazy and beautiful all at the same time. I know the Lord will protect me and bless me when I put my faith in his hands and reach for his light. I would'nt be the person I am today without him holding me and making me a stronger person 3,000 miles away from my family and friends. But you know what? I wouldn't change this crazy journey for anything, and now no matter how scared I am I'm ready to face a new journey and new pathways, and all I have to do is take the first step...

Tuesday Night-Quote and dreams night

I have decided I am going to make Tuesday nights a little different. Even if I am not able to blog as much , I will try and do something every tuesday along with a quote I ran onto and a bucketlist goal as well as a goal for the day/week. I want to inspire people, and I wish these quotes will help you in your life as they do mine. I am really excited about this and hope I can do everything I have on my list. So for the first time. . . Tuesday Night Thoughts (T.N.T) haha. I think it's catchy and I like it :)

"Those who can be truly accounted brave are those who best know the meaning of what is sweet in life and what is terrible, and then go out, unmoved, facing what is to come." - Pericles

Daily/Weekly Goal: 
Find something inspiring, and count your many many blessings for the simple, beautiful, complicated, sweet things in your life.
Bucket-List:
Go to a foreign country, and with my nursing degree, help sick children and their families.

TSUNAMIIIIIIIII!!!

Oh gosh. Where do I even begin with this.... My roomate Annie's dad called her and about 9:30 pm which gave us both a heart attack. He told her about the earthquake that had happened in Japan. Soon after that he said there is a tsunami coming right to Hawaii. So of course, I FREAK! Growing up in little Star Valley you never really imagine you will be in a tsunami, or I mean you could if you really wanted. But I sure didn't. So of course the first thing I do is call my Mom; at around 9:50 pm. She answers a little scared and to add to that first thing I say is, "Mom there is a Tsunami coming to Hawaii." Good job Kad freaking your mom out at one in the morning. She talked to me for a little bit and tried talking down my frazzled nerves. At about 10 pm the first alarm went off. And when I say alarm it's not the little rinky-dink alarms for your car, or your school... this thing is the mother of all alarms. It was high pitched, and constant. So upon hearing this, all my moms soothing went right out the window. I start mumbling while at the same time she is mumbling and the last thing I remember was saying I love you, and throwing things together for a 72 hour kit. Which of course had to include all my little trinkets. By the time I had all my things together, I was out. So there I went trudging through crowds of people. I have honest to goodness never heard so many people freaking out in my life... and which led to my network being completely out of service-which made me phoneless causeing more stress to the dang situation. I made it over to Terri and Reed's (Thank heaven for them). When I got there, they were just kinda chilling out. I thought why aren't they running around with their heads cut off like me? Well, they had been in this situation last year about this time. Terri kept me calm, and gave me a glass of milk while I washed a good half a box of grahm crackers down, which was my only food I brought for the whole 72 hours. Good thinking Kad. Hour after hour went by and next time I knew, I was looking at the TV at 3 am that was expecting the first wave to hit any minute. I sat there out of my mind scared thinking all the worse possible things to happen.... what ifs. What if it's bigger than they think, what if I never see my family again, what if I can't get home? Well, I made it through alive. My heavenly father was by my side keeping me comforted and calm, and I know he did the same for so many others. It made me really believe in miracles, and to open my eyes to what can happen in a split second. So I just want to say, to whoever is reading this, I love you. I care about you. And I am grateful for you in my life, even if I don't tell you enough.:)

I {heart} Today.

Today marks me being in Hawaii for 21 weeks.
Today I have exactly 4 weeks left.
When I look back I can't help but wonder where all my time went. It's so crazy to me to think that only a year ago (in 2 months) I graduated High School, and literally not knowing what was happening with my life.

Today I miss my mom- I miss everything she says to cheer me up and the wonderful woman she is. I took her for granted many times through my teen years, and everything she said I can see why she said them now. She always just wanted the best for me, and I was too caught up in stupid things to see that until now.  I can honestly say she is my best friend and my hero. She has gone through so much and I am so grateful that I was sent here to be her daughter- To learn from her, laugh with her, and cry with her. I am thankful that she trusted me and knew what was in my heart to help me be who I am today. I want to be the mother she is. Someone who is understanding of every circumstance, someone who loves everyone with her whole heart-and sees the best in everyone she comes in contact with. Someday I hope I can measure up to her, and live my life the way she has carried hers through grace and faith in every situation. I never let you know mom how much you mean to me and how amazing of a mother you are-I am so overwelmingly grateful Heavenly Father sent me to your loving arms and I can grow up being loving to myself and others because of your example. I love you mama.

Today I am thankful for my dad- I don't know where I would be in my life without my dad. He is the greatest example of faith, righteousness and loyalty. There were so many times when I needed someone to turn to-and someone to tell me I was wrong or right- I could always trust him with everything I had. Through my HS years, we never really saw eye to eye, and I regret not knowing and learning more about him than just believing that I was right over everything he said. The bad thing is- He was always right. Whenever I would get my heart broken, he didn't get mad cause he knew it was going to happen, he welcomed me with open arms and let me cry. All the times I was scared, nervous, or just needing a little help, he gave me a fathers blessing. I am so blessed to have a dad that was worthy all those times I would wake him up crying in the middle of the night. He didn't ever complain and would just roll out of bed and stumble to the kitchen. He is everything a father should be and more. He loves all of us kids the same, but in many different ways. He has the most humble and sweet heart, and has provided our family with a good life through all his hard work. It was hard sometimes growing up when he wouldn't get home until late from logging, but I know he was making a better life for us with every tree he fell. I never tell you enough dad but Thank you for all you have done for me knowingly and unknowingly-I love you.

Today I am thankful for my brother Andy- He is the greatest example. I sometimes think he should have been the first born because he shows me something loving and valuable everyday. I look up to him so much and have him listed as my hero. I have watched him struggle with his diabetes but he never lets it show. He lives his life everyday to the fullest, and never takes no for an answer. He is a mini-me of my dad and is a hard worker that loves a new challenge. He has the biggest heart of anyone I know. He is always so willing to help a stranger, to help a friend in need with no hesitation. I am so grateful I was blessed with him for my brother- I must have done something right in heaven:) I love you And.

Update.

There are quite a few things that need to be updated so here it goes! First off, Disneyland was wonderful and filled with memories and laughs I will never forget! It was so great to be with my family and spend some time together even if it was just for 4 days. I flew into LAX on Weds the 16th at about 5:30 a.m. in the morning which about killed me dead because the time difference made it 3 a.m. in Hawaii. It also didn't help that I had a weirdie sitting next to me. Both of these combos= NO SLEEP for Kadi. Finally, I was able to de-board the plane and try and catch the Disneyland shuttle that would take me to our hotel. I was told the bus would come every hour, but after sitting on the curb for a good 31/2 hours the shuttle finally came:) I was a nervous wreck let me tell you. I was the only one on the bus which made it nice so I could go straight to our hotel. First thing I did when I got there was go to the front desk to see if they could check me in, no luck. Everything was completely booked the night before, and the rest of my family would not be there until 2 that afternoon. So, I looked like the creeper in the corner with my laptop and a book. After about four hours of waiting and me bugging them, they finally had a room clean. Soon after, my family arrived! I got off the elevator and was instantly happy and excited to see the ones I love the most in this world. All the little kids ran up and gave me a huge hug. They were all wearing T-shirts in rememberance of my Grandma June. The shirts were bright neon green so they were not hard to spot! It was so great to see everyone, and my homesickness vanished when I was able to embrace everyone. Soon after putting bags away we went over to Disneyland and because it was pouring rain it was a ghost town, which was WONDERFUL! The whole trip was this way, besides one day which was great to have a little sunshine! Over the next four days, we went to different shows including Aladdin, Bugs Life (hate that show because of the bugs crawling under your butt and the spikes in the back, so of course I was sitting on the edge of my seat; might as well have been the floor!:)) and last World of Color! That show was so neat! I will try to post some of the video and song that was my favorite. I drank way to many hot chocolates, ate a few churros, and had the best Corndog ever! (which is odd because I don't even like Corndogs) It was great to spend some quality time with my dad when we would go and get Fastpass tickets together, and listen to the wisdom of my mom and best friend. I not only went on the Tower of Terror ride one to many times, but also enjoyed the little rides with my cousins such as the "Tea Cups", Small World, and Peter Pan's Flight. Everything was going great, until Waammmooo. Kadi came down with the flu. It was honest to goodness the worst flu I had ever had. So Saturday morning on my last day, I spent the whole morning puking my brains out. But, I got enough strength to later go back. There were a few tears shed, but I had to keep telling myself I will be home in 40 days. I can't wait to be home for Good for awhile. Overall, this trip was one of the greatest memories and experiences that I hope to share with my own family and children someday.

Good Quote

To let go isn't to forget, not to think about or ignore.  it doesn't leave feelings of anger jealousy or regret. Letting go isn't about winning or losing. its not about pride and it's not about how you appear; it's not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness.    It's not about giving up or giving in. letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat.  To let go  is to cherish the memories , but to overcome and move on.  It is having an open mind and confidence in the future.  Letting go is learning , experiencing and growing. to let go is to be thankful for the memories that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow.  its  about all you have , all you had , and all that you will soon gain.  letting go is having the courage to accept chance and the strength to keep moving. letting go is growing up. it is realizing the heart can be the most potent remedy.   to let go is to open a door, to clear a path and set yourself free.

Future.....

...In today already walks tomorrow...

Never Regret yesterday, Life is in you today and YOU make your tomorrow <3

The last few days have been really busy and mostly a blur. I have been so busy with school and work I hardly ever have time to even look in the mirror. The thought struck me the other night... what am I doing? There are people out there that would give anything for just another day, and I am just living it waiting for the next day. How truly blessed are we to have another day to hold onto, another new beginning if we please, another day to tell loved ones we love them, a new day to be someone's miracle? Everyday is a gift, and we can decide what to do with it. How are we going to be remembered when we are gone? Over Christmas break, my heart was opened to see how precious the last days of life are. I was able to be around when my Grandma Mcgavin passed away. It was one of the hardest experiences of my life, but I was blessed to know I had my CNA so I could take care of her. It was so rough somedays and very touching, depressing, eye-opening and humbling. I was able to review memories with her, and really spend quality time with one of my best friends. She was the greatest influence, and hero. She never judged and always taught forgiveness and was the prime example of it. She kept her fight and head up until she passed away as she slept. I miss her so much sometimes it aches, but I am living for her now, and doing the things that would make her proud. I realized when I was taking care of her, how much I loved Nursing. I loved being able to care for her, and see over her well-being. I am so grateful, I was able to decide my future, and I honesty believe she was whispering it to me all along, and even now. Since being back at BYUH I have been taking a Psychology class , and I LOVE IT! It is amazing all the things our brains can do, and getting down to why people behave like they do. I have heard many times that I should be a counselor, and why not combine this with Nursing? So, drumroll please.... I have decided what I want to be; A Psychiatric Nurse. I feel so good about it, and I am ready for the challenge. I want to impact lives, and be someones miracle just like my grandmother did. So today, I am thankful for another shot at life; another day to breathe, live, and see my dreams come true. I'm ready for whatever is coming, because I know she is by my side. Love and miss you Grams.

Greatest Grandma a girl could ask for <3

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;

When troubles come and my heart burdened be;

Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,

Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;

Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;

But when you come and I am filled with wonder,

Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up: To more than I can be.

DiSNeYLaND

Ok so I'm a little disappointed to say the Steelers didn't win the Superbowl. Sad day. But oh well there is nothing I can do about it except for cheering them on so they can win next year! Which of course they will. But anyways enough about them... I have been so busy since I have been here for second semester, it seems that I never get a break. It's nuts. I wake up everyday at 7 go to work, school, attempt to get my butt in shape, more school, and then homework the rest of the time. It's pretty sad I am in HAWAII and I never hardly go to the beach cause I never have time. But I made a promise to myself that I will do better, and make time to do things that I love to do, which one of them is blogging, well I guess writing down all my crazy thoughts in my head and trying to put them into words. Today was a great day. Did all the usual things I do everyday, but I kinda took the time to slow down and really enjoy whats around me. It really hit me how short life is and how for the past few years I have just been living it to be here. I do whatever everyone tells me to do, and make sure I never get in trouble. But I figured out that is no way to live. I'm ready and on my way to becoming the woman I want to be. I am thankful for all the people in my life that have influenced me for the good and the bad. I know that I would never be where I am today without them. It has been the best thing ever to be here on my own and have to dig down deep to find why I am so guarded and why I am scared to fully live, but I have figured it out and now I am ready to give life a run for it's money. Which I have and I want to do while I am still here for a month and a half. It's sad, and I am going to miss so many great people that have brought me not only closer to the church, but have found a very special place in my heart. I will never forget how they have impacted my life here. Anyways, next week I am very excited because I will be going to DISNEYLAND!YAY! I am sooooo excited I could just die! I love Disneyland and yes I may sound like a little kid, but there is just a special feeling there like nowhere else, where you can go back to memories and live like a little kid for just a day with no worries in the world. I will be leaving next tuesday (a week from today) and staying until Sunday! I can't wait to see all my family! My grandma is doing this for all of us. It actually started that my Grandma McGavin before she died but away some money for a family vaca to take all of us, and well now we are all going to enjoy it together! I can't wait. :)

Good Day with a little BLACK and YELLOW!!!!

Today was a good day. Went to Hukilau beach, got almost swept out to sea by a humongous wave, and got my face fried. Good day though. And you know what tomorrow is going to be even better! The Steelers (the greatest team in the history of the Universe) are playing in the SuPeRbOwL! Oh.my.gosh. I am sooooo excited. I am so glad I was raised in a family that made me deicide in order to become an Erickson you must be an avid Steelers fan. Welp. I loved them anyways. But it's going to be a little different this year. Instead of taking in Andy's screaming to the T.V. and my dad jumping up and down when Big Ben throws a pass, I will be doing the same, but without the smell of moms famous wings and lovely cheesecake bites! But I am stoked anyways. Now all I need is a dose of Polamalu's lucious locks, and a Terrible towel and I will be the greatest Steelers fan there ever was. Now they better win, or Pittsburg will see a rage they have never seen!

Let's Go Steelers!!!         Classy- what I like to see haha!                                                         

GrAtEfuL

Today, I'm grateful and very blessed. I have the greatest family, friends and a wonderful life. I just thought to myself as I was walking around campus how did I get so lucky? This earth we live in is beautiful! For the first time in a long time, I'm feeling great about where my life is going and finally beginning to see how my hard work has paid off. There are so many amazing things that we take for granted every day, like the smell of the air, and the sights we are able to see. So long story short, I'm feeling blessed today, or maybe just recognizing it. I've always been blessed, just thought I wasn't good enough to deserve it. I love my life and everyone in it! Thank you to everyone that has made my life a heaven on earth and made me the person who I am today, love you all! Here is a Pict of how my day felt today, like a new sunset. Somehow we see it everyday, but it always seems to be different. It may be hazy, vibrant, or lazy but it always comes up. Just like us, we always raise and fall with the sun, and live within its light. We are all so lucky! So here are some Pict's that make me happy every time I see them, each of these hold a special place in my heart and always will. These are my favorite places to be and live, and I will always be eternally grateful. <3

Last Year to New Year.

I know that this is a little late to be posting but since it is still in the month of January I am going to post for the new year and everything that has happened since the beginning of last year. Well at this time last year, I was still a senior in High School and had just turned 18. I was just trying to get through the last semester without catching the crap called "Senioritis"... well too late. I had already gotten that when I first got into High School. Don't get me wrong, I loved High School and being able to make many new memories with new and old friends. The only thing bad about SVHS were the labels that everyone was labeled with. It seemed as when you were labeled something you could never escape it. There were many times that these labels were good and some bad, but in the end you were still branded as to what people thought of you. I was ready to leave, and begin a new me, a new beginning and hope for some new labels and brands that I could give myself before others did. In May 2010, I graduated High School which is such a huge accomplishment and milestone in everyones life. I was caught in many emotions when I graduated, mainly happiness and joy of what was coming and what happened in the past four years. High School was filled with teenage love, heartbreaks, hope, best friends, crappy cars, first day of school clothes, volleyballs, skipping classes and on top of it all, memories that will never be forgotten. I am thankful that I was able to go through High School knowing what people mattered, which didn't, knowing first loves, Prom dates, and being able to look back and smile with regrets that were simply not getting to school on time. I ended high school with no regrets, and an open heart to keep everyone I had loved, liked, and been a best friend to forever.
After graduation, I worked three jobs trying to earn money for the hope that I could come to Hawaii and start anew. I worked everyday through the summer with my CNA, rode my reigner Roy everyday, and soaked up the sun and memories with my friends before we all had to go our separate ways. At the end of the Summer, everyone parted ways and I felt so lost, because I was about to step off a cliff without knowing what was going to happen, no one to catch me at the bottom and a lot of space to fall. But, I made the plunge anyways! I left on September 12, 2010, and nothing on this earth could have prepared me for that day. I walked to the top of the escalator with my family, and all I could do was cry. Everything I had learned in my 18 years were to be tested in the ultimate test. I hugged all my family, and there I went to a whole new place that I knew nothing and no one about. But, all in the moment of hectic craziness, I felt at peace. I knew this is where I was supposed to be, in my life right now. Now here I am, 4 months later, saying that getting on that plane was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I'm thankful that I was scared out of my mind, because in some weird way it made me stronger. I'm thankful for a loving family that trusted me enough to let me go for me. I'm thankful to myself mostly because, I trusted myself to know this is what I needed. So over the past year, it's been crazy, scary, trusting, loving, and beautiful. But you know I wouldn't have it any other way.

Miss Kadi Lou Erickson was all they knew, only the name.

Okay, so I might as well tell everyone what I have been up to for the last while, since I'm not sure when the last time people heard from me was. I am proud to say I am currently residing in Laie, Hawaii. . . Going to school of course! I have been here for 4 months now and will continue my education here at BYU-Hawaii until April. I am very blessed and grateful to be here and to see a whole new world and experience many different cultures. Let me tell you though, it was a shocker! The little sheltered girl from big-bad Wyoming had finally met her match.  I was scared to death, but the Lord truly blessed me with strength and love to have the confidence to strive and become a better me 5,000 miles away from home. When I first got off the plane, I was filled with anxiousness, fear, and hope. The thought ran through my head a million times that day. . . "Are you SURE this is where you are supposed to be?" And even being completely on my own, I still had the comfort that this time in my life is devoted to me, what I want and whom I someday want to become. So, there I went chugging along with my whole life packed into 3 suitcases, and my heart wearing easily on my sleeve, I set off into the place people call Paradise. . . More to come tomorrow :)

Beginning Something New.

 Ever since I was able to walk, I am pretty sure I was carrying around a pen or a pencil, or even anything that would create something on a surface. In in the 19 years I have been alive, I have found writing to be an escape, a dream, and a glance into the past while living my life for the future.Through jotting down my heart plain and simple; with napkins and my dad's leftover recycle paper from school, I have found that writing is a laugh, a tear, and could be one of the greatest moments of your life. I can look back and find a thought I never knew I could posess, and the next day need the strength to find something real. Writing is just like life. We write something each and everyday, good and bad, heartfelt and cold. And just like things we regret, we may also write what we need and what we hope for in the future. A future should be remembered as living, and completely filled through and through with different colored ink. A perfect illustration of who we are. A life that smudges the paper with tears, and has so many black-smudges from erasers, you begin to wonder if it was a paper in the first place. Sometimes in these papers,we get lucky and find people, people that have impacted us and sculpted who we are today. So thats what I am going to do, be a napkin, an eraser, and a permanent marker. I'm going to write my life with no regrets, only faith and hope for what is to come.

This is the blog of me, raw and simple. My wildest dreams, and craziest friends and family will continue to be written. This is my life plain and simple. Enjoy :)